"TRIBUTE TO MOHA"

4th August, 2014,

First I thought my phone was lying to me, how can this be true? It must have been a case of mistaken identity. Another call, then another and am forced to call Abdi.

" Niaje, Abdi, hii story nasikia kuhusu Moha ni ukweli?" I ask.
As I wait for his respond on the phone, I wish he tells me its a rumour but...
"Ni ukweli bana, Moha alipass jana usiku. Ni kama alivamiwa na wasee flani uko kwao..." I feel like the world is against us, he narrates to me a sad story of how the whole thing happened. I am yet to be convinced about it, facebook posts and whatsapp messages keep on popping and forced to accept its true.

Today I say it again, R.I.P Moha, three years later. I promise I will say  it again and again till we meet, God knows where and when.

Being admitted to Chewoyet High was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's a school that gave me more than I deserved,(that's a story for another day).  If you happened to be there between 2009 and 2013, then you know of one Mohammed Abdulaziz Lopeyon, a proficient footballer and a faithful Muslim.

Death is immortal they say, but on 4th of August, 2014 it proved its  immortality to the people of Alale in Kacheliba, Chewoyet High, and more so to me and many more who knew Moha at personal level.

Today it has been three years since he passed and he is still in our minds with no sign of going any soon. Every other time I meet with my classmates we never fail to mention him, how he was just humble and optimistic. We always think life could be different if he was around.
I therefore write this two letters to console ourselves of what happened.

To Moha:

  I write this to you with tears in my eyes and sorrow in my heart. Mrs Kibet never taught us how to write letters to the dead but I had to learn so that I can send you this letter.

It has been long since we last met, I remember we were in Chewoyet, Nothern field, Watching Chewoyet play football against Kapenguria Boys at the finals of term two B county sports. At that time I was a teacher at Propoi Girls. You were happy and energetic, you wanted to be in that team and play against our all-time rivals, Kapee. I never knew that was going to be the last time we will be together, I would have wished you goodbye. You were happy Chewoyet was recognising talents and doing great in it.

Two weeks later am told you are nolonger with us, please tell me where you are when you get this letter. I have unfinished business with you. Infact the entire East wants you, Malasi claims you were not in class the last time he was in for vectors, Alimoi has your quarter loaf, Kipuno wants you for the Math group, Abdi and Hemedi are waiting for you at the Mosque. Our team is playing against West and your position is vacant, come and fill it.

For your information I no longer do Maths in my life, nowadays I write, that's why am writing this to you. When we meet don't ask me about moles, Physics or Bio. Ask me about writing but not grammar, that's for Mrs Kibet and the language department. I write for you and those who understand me and my language. I inform people, but am still a leader. Remember voting me as your student president? I still believe I can lead like you just believed in me that time.

In the mean time, let me believe you pursued your dreams where you are. I hope you still have the urge to learn, and you found someone like me who is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong. Who tells you he is not sure about Locus but still teaches you better than your teacher. Don't tell me you killed your talent, I want to see you play a winger against the devils in the football tournament when I join you, by the way your team Arsenal won F.A against Chelsea. Your passion for football will never die, I will watch it to remember you.

As I finish writing this, I want to assure you we are still united. The entire East wishes you the best. When we join you we know you will be an elder and you won't see us get harassed, you will take care of us. Especially me, you will pay for the days I defended you from Akuts and Kwelikweli.

Just relax, we shall join you sooner or later. In the mean time enjoy yourself.

We miss you,

From Maritim, your student president, your classmate and your friend.

To the rest of us and I:

I know it's painful to remind you of Moha, at the same time I know you have gone through what I have been to: memories of Moha, dreams with him as a participant and much more.

I know there are people who will cry when they read this, cry no more for Moha is waiting for us. One day we shall unite, we will be part of him or he will be part of us. Moha is with us, so if you ever promised him anything, kindly fullfill it for he is watching over us with the angels. He is with us I believe.

As I conclude, remember life is immortal, we are not special: its just that we've been given a chance to change. Your tommorow is not assured, so let us remain in peace. Let us be what he would have wanted us to be; United, peaceful and optimistic.

Yours loving Maritim Brian, alias Culprit.

LAST DAY!

So today I decide to cut the long story short, I choose to take the short cut. I have thought for it over and over again and nothing is going to convince me beyond any reasonable doubt that am about to take the wrong step.
I get into my feeble accounts withdraw whatever is inside. I want to clear all my debts, the first I pay is mama wa mboga, I cannot go with her money yet the other time she told me she has three kids and one is a sickling; uyo mathee ako na bidii I hope her kids wont dissapoint like I want to. The next on my line is the wines and spirits guy, alinitolea lock nikiwa na exam. I think of paying my M Shwari and okoa bt I remember I dont have any, infact I will borrow and wont repay; Safaricom ni wezi na mnajua, wameniibia bundles severally. Dear H.E.L.B I did not benefit from your money, incase you want it back go ask all the brewery companies you know they are the beneficiaries, major.
I then go ahead call all my friends, crushes and classmates, relatives and family(someone tell me the difference between family and relatives). We talk with those who recieve my call, I dont care those who snitch me; that's what you've been doing all my life and I did not expect you to be good today.
I then go to the last option I pen down all that is about me so that if you never knew me you will get a chance to, atleast when am gone and you wonder who the hell is this guy. I wanted to see weed get legalised in Kenya so I can go have a puff during examtime just incase I get caught confirming my notes. My dream was to see Kenya a united nation but for now I dont think I will since I will soon disappear. I finish my writing and go out to my joint, take two shorts and buy one just incase the going gets tough I will make myself high and move on like am flying.
On my way back to my cube I meet the street kids, they are having a nice time playing cards behind a Range Rover. I think again, do those kids how much that car costs or they just want to be near it so they can console themselves; tunachezeanga hapo kwa gari kubwa. What catches my mind is this street girl, high on glue with two boys following her, I dont know where they are headed to and I cant just follow them like a horny dog. I ask the boys for a challenge in their game.
They are good at it but today they wont beat me, not on my last day, if I could have another day I would let them beat me since there is another chance for me to have a re-match. Suddenly they engage me in a conversation. They ask me how life is when you are decent and people respect you, how we survive life outside the streets, to them they cannot imagine living outside the streets. I feel like telling one of them if he would minde we exchange our lifestyle.
I tell him how he will be waking up early to go to class and listen to a boring lecture for a whole two hours on an empty stomach, how hard it is to seduce a lightskin, how expensive it is to get high on daily basis. He cuts me halfway and tell me to go on with my life, he just cannot make it. He confirms why this should be my last day, if he cannot survive my life and he can survive the street then who the hell am I to think of going on?
We play the last game, this time its a gamble, 50-50 whoever wins goes home with fifty bob extra. He plays smart as his friend watches over just incase a kanjo comes over. I think the owner of this car is somewhere watching us from a distance. Finally the worst happens, the boy wins. I promise for a rematch in the evening and he agrees, I give him his deserved money and add him a 20 bob for glue.
I get to my house, the landlord is on the door with several padlocks in his hand, he gives me that face, the face that says it all. If you are not paying him you are going to know the difference between owning and renting a house. I am broke but I know how to trick him. I give him stories,stories and more stories until we are in terms. Afterall this is my last day, you can come lock your house in the morning, I will be gone anyway, i console  myself as I go in.
I look at my property, the laptop lies there broken, my phone besude it scattered and damaged beyond repair. I go to the back that holds my papers, I reread my C.V like I want to update it, I imagine how those guys who interview  people will look at it when I present it. I laugh at myself because I cannot imagine anyone employing me using that C.V. Anyway its my last day, why should I bother myself?
Its nine and am headed to the streets for my last challenge with the boys before I disappear. I arrive at the venue and they are there warming up. This time its a gang of seven; four boys and three girls, they are all high like kites. The tournament kicks off immediately. This time I win all the games. Thats all in my mind so I am giving it my best. The girls get bored everytime I win and I am happy. The game ends, I am declared winner and they give me my hard earned money. I look at the money then the kids then the money again. I put my money in the pocket then I look for a 200 shilling note, I give it to them to share it just incase they have lost everything they had to a disappearing man.
On my way to the house I receive a call from my brother, he rarely calls and I dont know why I did not call him when I was calling people, maybe its because he was bound to call last. He tells me that grandmom wants to see me urgently. My granny does not have a phone so I did not call her. Of all my cousins and brothers she believes that am the only one who is not spoilt because I shave regularly and speak fluent mother tongue. This changes my mind suddenly, let me go listen to her then disappear some other day.
For now am looking for rent and more money to gamble with the street kids. I will go see grandma for Easter and mybe disappear after that. Hope she does not change my plans or give me something to do.

THAT WAS TOO MUCH!!

Somethings put you off-guard, you feel like drinking a cold beer at the river banks admiring the smooth flow of water. How it navigates the bends and wonder when your life will flow smoothly like a drop of water in the river. This is what I feel when such happens, you lose 8/10 cows in your boma at ago. You are a farmer moreso a Kalenjin farmer.
You feel like the whole world is against you, it kills your confidence, freezes your bravity and nullifies your achievements. All of us will fail to understand how on earth someone walks into a shop, "nipee ile sumu ya nguvu kwa yote, yenye itaua ng'ombe 10/10 bila kubahatisha...." back in the mind he/she is picturing your boma. You go ahead and choose mashujaa day, on the night of mashujaa you execute your mission. You kill them, as innocent as they are, one after the other, you make sure they are not going to face the next day or the furthest they go is the next week. In your mind they carry the weight of 4000Ksh you were not paid as a fine because it is suspected they strained into you malnutritioned maite plants.
  Am not going to judge you, infact I dont even know you, God and yourself alone know who you are. The clock is still ticking and soon the truth will unveil, you will be brought to broad daylight by the actions you did in the dark, time will catch up with you. I wish you be forgiven but forever you will remain guilty and your actions will judge you.
I saw them die one by one like poisoned cockroaches. It was painful and you could see it by the nature of death; heavy breathing, bloody diarrhoea, coughing and finally puking as they gave up to their last breath. They did not kick it was useless, they had fought enough. If they could afford to say something at least they could have said their will, what to do with the orphaned calves and the person who killed them.
You will watch us suffer, start from scratch and build up again from the calves you spared, no, you forgot to poison. We shall be better than where we were before you did this. I hope you live long to see this happen but not to poison again, you can kill but please don't spare us the grieve, that is enough.
Acceptance is the first step towards healing, tumekubali. I know everybody has to spirit of vengeance, some let it die, some confess others revenge like you did. One could have been enough blow but that was too much for us to handle.

SUNDAY CRUSH

Some will tell you that love is brewed anywhere even in public toilets when you have that bullying diarrohea, that statement is true. Every couple thinks theirs was a special way; from wrong numbers to choir members to pubs and just a common passenger on your estate mathree.
It was on of those extra-ordinary Sundays, the ones you wake up feeling touched you think you can change satan back to his angel days. You want to tell the world how good God has been to you, everybody should be heading to church. It reminds me of the days I was a school captain, on such Sundays' I would make sure everybody is in the hall for the Service and making notes on what the speaker was saying. I wish this happens all remaining Sundays of my stay on top of the soil.
Since now days I don't have a Sunday best, I pulled down the last clean pair of trouser, my only white shirt and prepared for church. No more carrying of bibles to church, I never carried any before though. Thanks to Biblical apps supported by even the cheapest android phones.
The service was blessing in its own, am told humilty saved the jews from the cruel decision of Haman the then prime minister of Persia and Media through Modecai. It was touching, I came out a different man, a man willing to change course from Media to Theology and be  reverend. It was a coincidence for the Sunday to be a Father's Day, I gave my last old 50 shilling note that rarely leaves my wallet to our Father. Hoping He will bless my pockets as usual. I left the church empty in pocket but rich at heart and spiritually full.
Sunday afternoons are the worst afternoons in history of man, it reminds you of Monday and tasks ahead. You feel like the weekend should start over again. I was still wondering what to do to 'push time' then I remembered my face was becoming hairy, I needed to see a barber. With a plan in mind and a cousin for company, we left for the barber-shop.
Along the road we made jokes and laughed foolishly like those market women I usually sell my cabbages on market days. From a distance we spotted, our pace changed and we moved faster hoping nothing would come between us. There was this boda guy who looked confused, actually he was, but he saved my day, he chose not to interfere with my wish by going on his way. We followed them closely till we were there. The girls were pretty, the ones you get satisfied when they just tell you their names even if they lie like they tried.
After a long time without rains, God sent the rains from above to make my day a success. From nowhere the rains started and that should be the begining of a story I will tell my kids how I met their mother incase one dares to ask.
When good things happen, its also right to ask yourself when did the rain started beating you. For these are the rains that put smiles on farmers faces and brew love in a neighbours kitchen in their absentia in the name of seeking shelter.

MY SON! MARITIM Jr.

The world needs a strong man like you, a brilliant brave man who can outdo the worst. He who is not aftraid to face the world, who can walk the jungle and outshine the lion.
It needs a man who can run under the sun until he is done. You are that man, you can prove your manhood beyond your sexuality. You are better than me I know, don't show.
Prove them wrong and be strong, your mom loves you but the world hates you. Just be the better version of me and be you.
You are the man the world has been waiting for,the ladies are jealous for, your parents need you more. Act brave and act strong.
I will invest in you and let you enjoy the harvest, you have to be the best, better than the rest.
In you, my hopes lye, till I die, please don't make me cry. Enjoy the moments,  before you are swept by the currents.
Before its dawns on you that I am down; take the crown. Be my heir and go beyond my potential. I love you....
Where are you my son?
Where is your mom??
We love you our son.
You are my son.

OPEN LETTER TO MY UNBORN KID!!

Dear Junior,
Hope you live to read this letter, that I write to you in your absentia.
Jr, I don't know whom your mother is but I know I am you dad. I wish your mother will be my wife and not  those one night stand ladies dad has been taking home after several bottles of beer with buddies at the local. I hope she will be a mother like your grandmother; to love and care for you. She will not be the kind who forgets you and watch the cheap soap operas all day and study her mobile phone everytime you need her most.
The outside world will be unfair to you, me and your mom will try our best to make you feel comfortable, give you the best we can afford on earth and advice you on how to survive the hard way for there is nothing easy on earth. Your friends will betray you, your lover will play you, but I and mom will love you forever, that I promise.
Dad will make mistakes once or twice, please forgive me. I may come home late to disturb your sleep after watching a game with my men, just understand. I will punish you when you make mistake that just like me you wont understand why until you grow up; I dont raise quacks in my family. Your mom will quarell you severally and correct you every now and then, respect her.
As you grow up you will make friends and enemies, hope you have more enemies than friends so that you get a reason to work hard and trust few people. You will love and get hurt just like your parents, you are not alone son, keep moving.
One day you will get married, I wish you have a peacefull marriage like the one I wish to have with your mother.
Finally Jr, learn to obey those in authority, be honest to yourself and faithful to you loved ones. Be kind to nature, read the Bible and pray, that is my greatest weakness I hope you will overcome. Live your life knowing there is no other chance. Enjoy when its due and handle situations with maturity.
"Akili ni mali Ujinga ndio hasara, sasa tutafanya nini ndugu yangu???"
I hope you read this letter when you will be 5 years old. Hope it finds you well,wether I will be alive or dead just know there is nothing more than what is in this letter Jr. Have a good life as you start your journey on earth. Byee!!! Love you Jr.

Yours Loving,
Dad

Why I was born:

I was born to die, but before my death I was given responsibilities
In the end you are going to wish I lived a longer even just for an hour but I will be gone, dead. That is my final role, to die. Death is my destiny and am aware, am not afraid to reach my destiny but am worried about it. It will bring grieve to thpse who know my value, those who loved me and a sigh of relief to my haters. I will die, that I promise, just place your bet and wait death will win the match.
Before I reach my destiny I am entitled to responsibilities given to me by my Creator, GOD HIMSELF. I cannot say my journey to death was succesful if I don't finish my assignments and submit them to Him.
I am assigned to;

1 serve
I am assigned to serve you, yes, You. If I don't kindly tell me so I can do it or repprt me. I will serve the punishment for failing to serve you. My service is to all, you deserve it anywhere anytime. I will serve with passion and strength I will give my best to service. If I reach my destiny without serving then there was no reason for the journey.
I am born to serve before I die.
2 love
How difficult it is, but its my God given duty. I have to love, from my parents to strangers, rich to poor, able to disable, tribesmen to non- tribesmen, male to female; love all. I will love you with my whole heart. You deserve this for it is my duty to love you. You and the rest.
I am born to love before I die.

3 Lead
If you are lost follow me for its my duty to lead you. This is the responsibiliry I never knew until Chewoyet revealed to me, God bless Chewoooo... I could have died withouth knowing this. I am ready to lead at all times for its my God given duty, I will do it till I die. Moi University here I am to do it for you. The rest of the world you are not left out, I will do it.
I am born to lead before I die

4. Protect
I am not the strongest but I am there to protect you. I am strong and brave enough to protect you for it is my role before I die. I will do it at all angles and at all times for as long as I can do it,  you can't suffer where I am for I will protect you by all means. With me you are safe.
I will protect before I die.

5. Exploit
The world was made wild, with variety. Then I was tasked, to look for what is really mine, what is good for me and my friends in the unknown. I promise I will exploit and bring up the best for you if not for us.

6 To enjoy and mourn.
There is time for everything, a time to laugh and a time to cry. They happen and am entitled to make them happen. I have the right to enjoy and make merry when time is good to do so for by default I wont enjoy the moments when sorrow strikes and moods become sombre. For all the two are my duties as I go through life towards my death.

7 To risk
Nothing comes on a Silverplate. Seize the moment and try your luck. I will come for you even if they point swords to me still I will risk. I will venture into a business and try to make something out of the unknown. I am born to try and fail try and succeed, I am born to risk before I die.

8 To feel and care
I may not shed tears for every bad encounter neither will I cheer for every success or good things that happen, something inside me will strike, I will feel.
I wont let you feel the pain nor go through hard times when I have the capacity. I will take care of you.

9 To die
I wont live forever, am not permanent. One thing is certain in my life, whether I become poor or rich, good or bad whatever I will be or I am. I dont know when and I dont wish to know, but I hope it is not soon.
Am sure one day I wont do all this for I will die.